2010 Quote Review

It’s that time again… time for our annual quote review! For those of you who aren’t familiar, every year I gather up the things I have heard and read and then sort out the very best quotes. This year they’re divided up into two categories – things my friends and family have said and things I read this year.


My understanding is that there’s a small competition going on within the Tuesday Night community as to who can get the most quotes on the 2010 quote review. I haven’t tallied them up, but I’m sure someone will take advantage of their bragging rights soon!

Enjoy!


From the Mouths of Friends

*I must say, this is the first time in my life I’ve experienced a spontaneous Sister Act moment. ~ Curt

*I have a theory that denim is a giant napkin. ~ Heather

*My cat peed on the census forms. She’s an anarchist, I’m just a spineless liberal. ~ Meghan
 - This is, hands down, my favorite quote of the year

*I’m looking at you and I see a problem. ~ Mallory
- Mallory was actually trying to comfort me when this one popped out, but it sounded much more like she thought there was something very wrong with me. It’s since become a Tuesday Night staple.

*My goal today is not to be a dick… so, like, ten minutes later I was being a dick. ~ Curt

*I wish apartments were as easy to steal as purses. ~ Meghan

*He was, like, really, really touchy, but with his pelvis. ~ Heather

*Punching might be a love language for Jason. ~ Curt

*I asked him what cologne he wears and he was like, ‘Man Sweat!’ ~ Meghan

*Heather: I never did anything mean to a pastor before….
  Curt: It’s surprising how quickly you get used to it.

*Is that the sound of toenails being clipped… or a gun? ~Carissa

*They don’t have whiskey in space. That’s what I don’t wanna be an astronaut. ~ Curt

*Shimmy like your rent’s due! ~ Mallory

*5,000 year PMS = The Old Testament ~ Curt

*I’m so excited because my yoga ass is coming in! – Bex

*There’s always gonna be this beautiful, bitchy undertone. ~ Curt
- Why thank you, Curtis. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said about me all year!

*That’s the night I was my father’s Japanese son. ~ Mallory

*There’s not a word in the English language that conveys the magnitude of my “ewwww”. ~ Curt

*I’ve actually won two dance contests with the sprinkler. ~ Meghan

*That was my Tuesday Night before I had them. ~ Bex

*Curt: Was he hot?
  Bex: He was in a I-might-have-just-killed-my-parents-and-put-em-in-the-freezer kind of way


Things I Read This Year

*Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. ~ Marianne Williamson

*The hypochondriac is therefore a hopeless case, whose illness (the fear of sickness and of death) is most often cured by sickness and death. ‘I told you so’ seems the haunting subtext of their funerals. ~ Thomas Lynch; Bodies in Motion and at Rest

*I don’t drink. I did of course, and plenty of it, but had to quit for the usual reasons. It got to where I was spilling so much of it. ~ Thomas Lynch; Bodies in Motion and at Rest

*What is said and unsaid are both instructive. ~ Thomas Lynch; Bodies in Motion and at Rest

*Among the few consolation of what has been called writer’s block is the assurance that, so long as one has it, one is, indeed, a writer ~ Thomas Lynch; Bodies in Motion and at Rest

*I guess humans like to watch a little destruction. Sand castles, houses of cards, that’s where they begin. Their great skill is their capacity to escalate. ~ Markus Zusak; The Book Thief

*It’s a fundamental human need to pass music around. ~ Rob Sheffield; Love Is a Mix Tape

*You’re fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is power in the shimmy! Make him fear your shimmy! Now, goddamnit show me your war shimmy! ~ Laurie Notaro; There’s a (Slight) Chance I Might be Going to Hell

*If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more or become more, you are a leader. ~ John Quincy Adams

*All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. ~ I have no idea who said this; I saw it on someone’s facebook


And there we have it, 2010 in summary!

Trainers for the little bug!

If you recall this post about my diaper sewing, and then this post about potty learning, you my have concluded that Norah decided she wanted to potty learn right after I made her a nice, new, squishy batch of diapers.  And if you came to that conclusion, you are correct.

However, we are still having our share of 'oops'es, espeically now that the potty is no longer a new, cool concept she is intent on mastering.  To help out with the oopses I've sewed her up a nice new batch of training pants.  And hey, who knows!  Maybe the production of a giant batch of trainers is just what she needs to keep her nice and dry. ;)

For your viewing pleasure, here they are:


I made her two of each design except for the owl pair - she has 3 owl pairs - for a total of 13.  What can I say, blue eyes looking up at you saying, "Owl undies, peeeese" cannot be ignored.  Here are a couple closer-ups of my favorites.





The inners and outers of these trainers are plain 'ole cotton knit.  I've used a rib knit with some spandex content for the legs and waist bands, so they will fit nice and snug and retain their stretchiness.  They all have soaker pads consisting of three layers of cotton flannel, which is (I hope) enough padding to keep a small accident from being catastrophic (pee running down the leg and into the shoe, anyone?), but not enough to feel padded like a diaper.

Now, the very best thing about these trainers... they unsnap.  This may not mean much to someone who doesn't have a small child in underwear or trainers, but to those that do, it means a whole lot - namely that you will never wrestle with your conscious over wanting to cut a nasty pair of undies off of a child rather than attempt to slide them off.  No worries, here.  Just unsnap, clean up, and go about your day.

Once I finished these up, I started wondering if these could be made with a waterproof material.  And so, I made up one last pair.  These last ones have a layer of PUL on the outside, which is a waterproof material.  I don't know how much it will actually help, as the leg ribbing is sewn right in between the inner layer and the PUL and will therefore likely wick like mad.  But, being trainers, they're intended to be taken off as soon as you know there's an accident, so maybe they won't wick too badly if I get them off her quick enough?  I'll be testing them out to find out.  I espeically like the star snaps on this pair:



These are all made from the Tinkle Time Trainers pattern.  It comes in sizes 18mo - 7 years, and also includes pattern pieces to make big kid undies as well as the trainers.  The pattern includes instructions for a pull up style trainer (no snaps - boo!), and a snap on trainer with one or two rows of snaps on each side.  I've made these with just one row.  These are relatively easy to put together, but did take me more time than I had anticipated.  The pattern is available for purchase here.  The pattern maker also has an overnight trainer pattern that's similar, but I haven't tried it out yet.

Now to see if these help the little bug stay dray!

My first custom diaper order!

I've just completed my first custom diaper order and I just had to post!

This order is 5 one size diaper covers - 2 dark blue, 2 dark lime green, and 1 aqua.  The mama who ordered it wanted something she could wipe clean between changes and didn't want FOE.  The result?  Two layers PUL with the shiny side of one layer facing in toward baby and the 'right' side of one layer facing the outside.  These have rise snaps to adjust the, erm, rise (that's why they're called rise snaps, right?), and snap closures.

Take a look!


There they are, all together.


Here's a comparison - the pic on the left is on the setting that fits Norah right now (21 months, 27ish lbs).  The pic on the right is the smallest setting


Here you can see the outside and the inside - see how the inside is shiny and wipeable?  Mission accomplished!


And last but not least, a stack of diaper yumminess.


I'm guessing most of you didn't know I was taking custom orders.  Guess what!  I am currently taking limited custom orders for whatever you might want sewn.  That includes diapers and diapering accessories, stuff for around your house, bags, baby and children's items, or whatever else you might want to throw my way.  While I'd be happy to make any style baby carrier you might want, if you're looking for a ring sling or wrap, I'd reccomend that you get in touch with Beth at Babyette first - she makes these things day in and and day out, and is more of an expert on them than me.

I'll be posting more on taking custom orders at the beginning of 2011, when I'll hopefully have more time.  For now, I'm taking a few here and there.  Feel free to message me if you're interested.

I think that's all for now.  Thanks for looking!

You know you want one.... (Calling All Babywearers!)

Calling all babywearers!

Remember that lovely SweetPod Soft Structured Carrier I made awhile back?  You know, the one with the adorable print on the outside panel, comfy and convenient internal panel, and hidden sleeping hood?  The one that left you wondering where you could get something like it?

Well, you're in luck!

This Saturday, October 2nd, there will be a SweetPod for auction at the Safe Infant Sleep Symposium.  I finished this up this week and can't wait for it to find a good, loving home and a sweet, squishy baby to carry around!

Humor me as I post these pictures - I still haven't acquired a dress form and am making due with my dining room chairs.

Here it is, in all its glory!



You can see the internal panel here.  This panel makes it so you can put baby on and move him/her to your back easily if you want.  The contoured shape of the panel also still allows access for nursing.


And here's the sleeping hood.  An invisible zippered pouch hides it when not in use.



This handmade carrier can be yours for the low, low price of... well, whatever it auctions for.

There's only one way to get this carrier, and that's to come bid on it at the Safe Infant Sleep Sympsoium Saturday.

See you there!

*The SweetPod Soft Structured Carrier is made from this pattern.  Carrying instructions can be found here.

Safe Infant Sleep ~ Symposium coming soon!

This is another one of those H got herself into something and now she's going to endorse it posts.  You are officially forewarned. 


So, what are you doing next Saturday?  You know, October 2nd?  Around 12ish?

Nothing?  Great!

Oh, you're doing something?  Well, you're still not off the hook.  The laundry can wait, the grass can be mowed this weekend (it won't grow much next week, I don't think), and the kids can visit with grandma (tell her I said so).

'Cause this is important.


On October 2, 2010 Birth Matters will host Fort Wayne's first Safe Infant Sleep Symposium.  The Symposium is free to the public and will provide evidence-based, up-to-date information and guidelines for safe infant sleep in cribs, bassinets, co-sleepers, and parents' beds.

In addition to the three speakers who will present, the Symposium will feature free giveaway bags to the first 100 families/individuals in the door, as well as giveaway items (Arm's Reach Co-sleeper, anyone?), and a silent auction featuring family friendly products such as Halo Sleep Sacks, co-sleepers, and baby carriers.

Speakers for this event will include Dr. Christopher Tallo, a Fort Wayne Pediatrician; Dr. Robert White, an Indiana Neonatologist; and Dr. James McKenna, Director of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame, Chair of Notre Dame's Department of Anthropology, member of the SIDS Global Task Force, and consultant to the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Committee on Safe Infant Sleep.  Whoo!  That's a mouthful!


You're probably asking yourself, What's this all about?  Or Why is H so worked up about this event?

You are in luck: I'm going to tell you.

What's this all about?
In case you weren't aware, Allen County has a ridiculously high infant mortality rate.  Like, crazy high.  For example, among the African American population in Allen County, the infant mortality rate is comparable to several third-world countries.  Last I checked, Allen County was located in a developed nation where people have access to food, shelter, health care, etc., regardless of whether they have any money.  Even if Allen County was far more underpriviledged than the rest of the country, which it isn't, social service programs should fill in a lot of the gaps that contribute to infant mortality.

And yet, we have all these babies dying what are apparently preventable deaths.

Indiana Department of Child Services and an enormous chunk of Indiana officials have decided that a large number of these deaths are occuring because babies are sleeping in unsafe sleep conditions.  I have no idea how they came to that conclusion, but after working with Birth Matters on the symposium and hearing about conversations with local officials, I've no doubt that a lot of babies are dying because they aren't sleeping safely.  And that is a shame, mostly because these babies are so precious and because unsafe sleep deaths are so preventable.

There's a definate, documented need for families in our county to learn more about safe infant sleep.  Birth Matters is stepping up to educate and empower families about their safe sleep options.


Why is H so worked up about this event?
Here's where it gets a little tricky.

You see, when the Indiana Department of Child Services decided to get concerned about unsafe sleep deaths, their approach to preventing these deaths was to tell parents to never, ever, ever sleep with their babies.

Which makes absolutely no sense in light of the fact that in cultures where cosleeping is the norm, SIDS rates are minimal or non-existant.  Did you know, for example, that in China, where cosleeping is taken for granted, SIDS is so rare that they don't even have a name for it.

Now, a lot of babies are dying in Allen County while sleeping with another person.  But these deaths are taking place outside of safe bedsharing guidelines.  For example, of the 13 unsafe-sleep deaths in Allen County last year, one infant was sleeping in a bed with five other children, despite safe bedsharing guidelines that specify that infants should not sleep next to older children.  One infant was sleeping in a bed with nine other children.  Nine.  Multiple infants were sleeping with parents on sofas, which also goes against safe bedsharing guidelines.  Drugs and alcohol were involved in several other deaths, the use of which is advised against in safe bedsharing guidelines.  One of these babies died improperly strapped into a carseat, which isn't even related to bedsharing.  And so on, and so forth.  So it isn't that people should never, ever, ever sleep with their babies - it's that if they want to sleep with their babies, they need to do so in a safe way.

Unfortunately, most people don't know what safe bedsharing guidelines are - if they even know such things exist.  The Department of Child Services campaign last summer did nothing to help with that problem - in fact, they may have made it worse.  A lot of people in this county have no idea that sleeping with a baby on a sofa is much, much more dangerous than sleeping with a baby on a firm mattress, so they just plop down on the couch with baby.  Which is not good at all, for anyone involved.

Birth Matters believes (and I concur) that families have the right to full information about safe infant sleep so that parents can make informed safe sleep choices for their children.  And so, in addition to crib and bassinet safety guidelines (which are completely legitimate sleep spaces, by the way - we utilize a crib as well, so this isn't a crazy, cosleeping elitist thing), this symposium will provide guidelines for safe cosleeping and bedsharing.

H is worked up about this whole thing because she doesn't like to hear that someone's baby died, and because she believes that unless people are educated about their options, they can't make safe sleep choices.  And because she believes that the state is limiting that education and that is hurting babies, and the Symposium is doing something about trying to make that right.

But I'm also worked up about this whole thing because I value my right to choose how and where my child sleeps safely, and because I know that if I don't step up and make a big fuss about it, there's a decent likelihood that I (and parents like me) will lose that right.



Maybe that's way too much information just to promote this Symposium.  But this isn't just something I'm endorsing because I like it or because it seems cool or because it is going to help people or give me the chance to love people better (although those are all true).  I'm endorsing this because it affects my rights as a citizen and because I believe it is my responsibility as a member of this community.  I'm endorsing it because it hits me in a place that you can't hit a parent without getting a reaction - it hits me in the spot where I strive with all of my heart and with all of my very being to care for Norah and raise her up in the best possible way I can - which means she needs to be safe when she sleeps, no matter where she sleeps.



So, if you're not busy Saturday (and we've already established that you're not, right?), come along for the ride.  Hear the guidelines for all kinds of safe infant sleep, empower yourself to make safe sleep choices, get a goody bag (come early!), win a giveaway, bid on an auction item!  Or if nothing on that list interests you in the slightest, just pop in to say hi to me - I'll be there all day!

For more information about the Symposium, visit http://www.safesleepindiana.org/.

My Baby, My Bed, My Business

Does anyone remember those shockingly disturbing commercials last summer depicting a father walking through the house with a hand-held video camera intent on videoing his wife and new baby girl sleeping on the couch, only to find that the baby wasn’t breathing?

Anyone remember how at the end of that extraordinarily disturbing PSA was a message telling people to never ever sleep with their babies?

Anyone remember spending a complete 10 seconds in silent shock and disgust before throwing shoes at the television and screaming, That’s bullshit! They aren’t even following safe sleep guidelines! Everyone knows you can’t sleep with a baby on a couch! Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!! while your husband contemplated whether to physically restrain you before you found something heavier to lob at his television?

Anyone? Or was that just me?


I’m a bedsharing parent. What that means is that Norah has spent a decent chunk of her nights nuzzled into our bed, sleeping right beside me. Despite the indications of the Indiana Department of Child Services’ disturbing and extremely misleading PSA last summer, Norah has never gotten wedged between the cushions of my couch, smothered under a pillow, overheated by heavy blanets, rolled over on, or fallen to her death from my bed. No one has squished her, smothered her, tangled her up in the sheets, or forgotten she was there. She has been quite safe, sleeping in my bed.

Norah has never once been in anything that even remotely resembled danger in my bed, in large part because D and I religiously follow established safe bedsharing guidelines. This might seem like a no-brainer, but safe bedsharing guidelines basically outline all the things you should/shouldn’t do before you bring your baby to bed with you, so that hazards to your baby can be eliminated and your baby can be safe in bed with you.

They aren’t crazy requirements, either. No one is asking you to sleep on a bamboo mat on the floor of a bomb shelter, with the building facing east and a voodoo priestess safety spell firmly in place. It’s normal, common sense stuff – don’t sleep with your baby on a waterbed or couch, don’t put a bunch of squishy pillows by your baby’s head, don’t sleep with your baby stone cold drunk.

It’s possible these might be paraphrased.

There are more guidelines, and they are all reasonable, normal sounding, achievable things.  And generally, they keep babies safe. I personally have never heard of a case where a bedsharing infant died and parents were following all of the safe sleep guidelines. Which is not to say it doesn’t happen, but that it seems to me that if it happened very frequently, I would have heard of one. Every infant death I’ve ever heard of that was related to parent/infant sleep sharing involved infractions on safe bedsharing guidelines.


So when DCS aired their ever-so-misleading campaign against parent/infant sleep sharing, that did not fly with me. At all.

It is difficult enough being a bedsharing parent in a culture where bedsharing isn’t the norm.

It is difficult listening to people suggest to you that you might be stunting your child’s emotional growth, or that you sleep with your baby because there’s something psychologically wrong with you, or to hear people tell you you’re “asking for (your baby) to die”.

It is difficult to be put on trial over and over for parenting the best way you know how, just because it’s different from other people.

It is difficult to repeatedly clench your jaw, close your eyes, count to 5, force a smile, and non-confrontationally explain the benefits of bedsharing and the safe bedsharing guidelines to people who have more-or-less accused you of child endangerment.

All of that is already difficult. But when the state steps in and tells everyone that you’re parenting the wrong way, and, what’s more, they’ve used an outrageously unsafe example that not even the most hard-core bedsharing advocate would ever consider, that’s just enraging. Completely enraging.

I have to be honest here, I’m slightly pissed off about the whole thing.


Here’s the thing: I didn’t set out to bedshare. I bought a crib and set it up. I borrowed my grandmother’s bassinet – the one my mother slept in as a baby and borrowed from her mother for me to sleep in as a baby. I got swaddle blankets and a crib aquarium and borrowed “The Happiest Baby on the Block” video from the library. I got sleeping wedges to make baby feel snug. I was set.

But that didn’t really work out for me. My baby turned out to be higher needs than I anticipated. If you set her down awake she screamed bloody murder. If you set her down asleep, she slept… for 15 minutes. Literally. 15 minutes. I could set my watch by her. No amount of swaddling, heating up the bassinet sheets, gentle, gradual transfers to the bassinet, or white noise would keep this baby asleep for more than 15 minutes. I read every book I could find, scoured the internet, implemented every solution that seemed safe to me, and still she would not sleep. It was pure hell.

And so, I did what any desperate parent would do – I called someone who knows more stuff than me and asked for advice. Hallie from Birth Matters showed up at my door with 2 books, a giant list of resources, and advice to look through everything and make a decision that would work best for my family.

We started bedsharing that night.

Once Norah started sleeping next to me, she slept for hours. Hours. And when she woke it barely disturbed me – I’d just cuddle her, nurse her and drift back to sleep. It was like I’d traded my newborn in for an entirely different baby. People would ask me how she was sleeping and I’d open my mouth to respond that she was sleeping through the night, and then realize that she wasn’t actually sleeping all the way through – it just felt like it because we were so seldom awake for more than just a few moments here and there.


Bedsharing was a lifesaver for me. We slept, we nursed more happily and easily at night, we got to cuddle more, Norah cried less. Despite the claims of DCS, I felt better about her safety once she started sleeping with me, having read about the causes of SIDS and the ways that mothers’ and babies’ bodies react to one another during sleep. Norah wouldn’t forget to breathe and never wake up; she would be prompted by my breathing to start up again. She wouldn’t get into a deep sleep where she couldn’t rouse herself; she would stay in a lighter, safer stage of sleep and rouse simultaneously with me. Call it God or call it evolution – babies seem to have been designed to sleep next to their mommas.

I was happier. Norah was happier. Norah was safer. And, the thing that I think ties this all together for me, it felt right. Human intuition is a powerful thing.


Once we started bedsharing, I was so happy about how sleep was going for us. But on the flip side, I was also so incredibly angry that for 3 weeks I’d struggled and cried and fretted when I could have cuddled and napped and spent sweet time getting to know my baby better.

Nothing feels very good or works very well when you’re getting 15 minute stretches of sleep, and that includes new mommyhood. I was absolutely furious that those first 3 weeks had been so unnecessarily difficult. I didn’t even know who exactly I was furious at – the hospital that had signs up on the walls instructing me not to sleep with my baby?; the media that said I’d kill her if I snuggled up with her at night?; the baby sleep products supposedly designed to keep baby safe, which seem more likely designed to turn a profit? I was just furious that all these powers-that-be imposed themselves on the initial weeks of motherhood and made it so hard for me.

The subsequent campaign by DCS when Norah was 6 months old did not make me any happier. It would be safe to say it made me even more angry than I already was. And it continues to make me angry that people do not have ready access to information about safe bedsharing.


The problem is, if you don’t know what the safe bedsharing guidelines are – or if you don’t even know safe bedsharing guidelines exist – it makes it awful hard to follow them. This is what really irks me about DCS and their campaign – that families who could otherwise safely bedshare are now engaging in unsafe sleep practices because they don’t know safe bedsharing is an option.

Did you know, for example, that there are people I am related to who believe it is safer to put a baby to sleep on their stomach than to sleep with the baby in bed? And so their babies are sleeping alone on their stomachs; the single greatest SIDS risk factor that I’m aware of, while they remain blissfully unaware that in cultures where bedsharing is the norm, SIDS rates are miniscule or non-existent.

In essence, DCS is putting babies at risk by demonizing parent/infant sleep sharing and refusing to acknowledge safe bedsharing guidelines.

Correction: DCS is putting babies in my family at risk.

I am not currently a fan of DCS. I rather like the babies in my family, and very badly want to see them stay safe.


I’m not advocating for people to sleep with their babies at any time, in any place, under any condition. Clearly, there are situations that aren’t conducive to safe infant sleep.

I’m not advocating for people to sleep with their babies at all, actually. If people want to, and can safely do so, I’m happy to lend advice or talk about my experiences. But bedsharing isn’t for everybody. Some people don’t want to bedshare; some can’t implement the safety guidelines. Whatever. It isn’t a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. Some babies like bassinets. Some babies hate them. Some parents can’t stand being away from their babies all night. Some parents can’t stand being touched all night. It’s an individual thing.

I’m not advocating for any particular sleep solution for any particular family, except to say that whatever families choose they should implement safely.

I don’t want to make every family sleep the way my family sleeps. What I do want is for safe bedsharing guidelines to be readily available to the public, the same way that safe crib sleeping guidelines are.

What I want is for the wide base of research supporting safe bedsharing to be acknowledged and accepted, the same way crib safety research is acknowledged and accepted.

What I want is for our officials to recognize the difference between safe and unsafe bedsharing, the same way they recognize the difference between safe and unsafe crib sleeping.

What I want is for our officials to believe that families are intelligent enough to make safe sleep choices when given full information.

What I want is for my researched, deeply thought out choices to be validated as the legitimate choices that they actually are.


Is that too much to ask?

How to Potty Train Your Toddler

1. When she is but a little baby, think to yourself that elimination communication (EC) makes some sort of bizarre sense and attempt to implement it part time. Ignore snickers behind your back and people telling you that you are abusing your child for holding her over a toilet.

2. Buy a pink potty. Because pink potties are all the rage.

3. Use a diaper/EC combo for a long time. Occasionally fight the urge to punch people in the face when they comment that your ‘potty training’ must not be working. Instead, kindly explain that EC is not potty training, it’s just trying to meet your baby’s elimination needs the best you can. Sigh on the inside when said explanation results in slack-jawed, vacant-eyed stares.

4. Utilize your pink potty.

5. Use more diapers.

6. Hide your pink potty when company comes over to avoid having the EC/potty training/child abuse via toilet conversation EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. you see anyone.

7. Witness your 12-month-old suddenly refuse to use the potty on account of her newfound ability to get up and walk away from it.

8. Attempt to put her on the ‘big potty’ since she can’t get down from it by herself.

9. Listen to terrified shrieks as your toddler reaches for you with what can only be described as horror.

10. Wonder what’s so scary about a big potty and take her off of it.

11. Watch with a bit of sadness as diapers become your full-time routine.

12. Give up on EC completely and totally. Use diapers full time, without even bothering with the stupid potty anymore.

13. Hide the pink potty after your toddler attempts to use it as a hat, shoe, and saddle for the dog.

14. Realize your toddler is going to grow out of her diapers pretty soon if she continues to grow at a normal rate.

15. Sew new diapers.

16. Realize the prefolds you bought for a newborn do not make good inserts for the diapers you sewed for a toddler because they are, well, newborn prefolds. And toddlers pee more than newborns.

17. Sew a bunch of toddler-sized inserts for your diapers.

18. 4 days later, listen to your 18-month-old beg you for underwear (i.e. screams of “Undies! Undies!” when you attempt to diaper her)

19. Shrug your shoulders and put the undies on her.

20. Take her to the bathroom every hour.  Or when she squirms like she has to pee.  Or when she looks at anything even remotely near her undies.  Or when she's "too quiet".  Or when your 'mommy instinct' tells you to.  Or anytime you feel paranoid at all.

21. Listen to Muse to help feel justified about being a paranoid person.

22. Realize your toddler has been dry all day.

23. Spend the next two weeks wondering when your toddler will regress back to peeing herself all the time and need diapers again, and dread the smug looks from people who have seen her in undies this week as they see her back in diapers, look at you, and think to themselves, "See, I knew that kid wasn't potty training.  For God's sake, she's only a year and a half old.  What was H thinking?!"

24. Think up good comeback lines in case anyone is rude enough to actually vocalize all that.

25. After a decent 2 weeks, realize this is the real thing; she is potty training.

26. Wonder what the hell to do with the new diapers and inserts.

Moral of the story – if you want to potty train your toddler, give up on any potty usage and sew a bunch of diapers.